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Joke of the Day

"I got a flyer in the mail that said ""Get into a new car no questions asked!"" Bullshit... my neighbor still asked WTF I was doing in his BMW."

"The reason I married an Asian chick... Is so I get to eat Chinese every night."

"A Cobra wanted to fight me but I challenged him to a thumb war and he slitthered away embarrassed."

"Just had to Google synonyms for the word creative. The irony is not lost on me."

"TIFU by not reading War and Peace. This wasn't today, this was ever. That book is way too long. I didn't read it. TL:DR Too Long. Didn't Read."

"How do you know if air fresheners have gotten too smart? If they have become scent-ient."

"pirate joke I saw a pirate walking down the street and he had a paper towel on his head so I said ""what's with the paper towel."" he said ""arrgh got a Bounty on me head."""

"Technology has made it so much easier to complain about technology."

"Q: When Do You Hurt a Midget? When He is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice!"

"When Thatcher ruled it was Thatcherism! Does that mean we now have Mayhem?"