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Joke of the Day

"A communist tells his friend before going to bed, ""I'm going to take a nap."" He wakes up as a libertarian."

"[Justice League HQ] Batman: Hahaha *changes his HBO GO password and doesn't give the new one to The Flash*"

"Chuck Norris has never lost his virginity. Chuck Norris never loses."

"What's the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?"

"My mother told me if I dislike someine, I'd have to walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they tried to get me, I'd be a mile away and they'd have no shoes."

"There's a sticky penis on my doormat... It must've come in the post."

"What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday? Cruising on a clipper."

"""Wow, more ABBA. Shocking."" -anyone on road trips with me"

"Grad school is my excuse for everything. No text back? Grad school. Havent called in weeks? Grad school. I ate your last donut? Grad school!"

"Keep in mind that parenting guides are written by people with enough free time & financial resources to write a parenting guide."