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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, ""My Dick"" is the wrong answer to ""What do you look for in a girl?"""

"I'm gonna screw you blue Said the rapist to Inigo Jones"

"The inventor of predictive text has died. His funfair will be hello on Sundial. #1PUN"

"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks, ""Awesome, now we're both barking."""

"A guy calls 911 Guy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Guy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Guy: The ugly one is winning."

"My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I didn't love her back. It's nice when problems resolve themselves like that.;-)"

"Why did the T-Rex get hammered at noon? Because he's a Wino-saur!"

"If you're going to have sex with someone you don't know, always ask... ..."

"I bet when Johnny Depp dies his only regret will be he didn't do enough Tim Burton films."

"I was dropped on my head as a baby but not as hard as the pound just dropped."