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Joke of the Day

"Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn? He couldn't trust his hose."

"What did the hamburger name his daughter? Patty"

"""I would describe your butt as a 7/10..."" ""...There's a crack and a hole in it."""

"Why can't a Pirate make it through their ABC's? They always get lost at C."

"My blonde gf thinks... My blonde gf thinks that USB is a back up plan just in case USA fails."

"I wonder if anyone ever looked Jesus in the face and saw a piece of toast."

"A guy is at the doctors... The doctor tells him ""we're gonna need a stool sample, urine sample and a semen sample."" The guy says ""Doc, I'm kinda in a hurry, can't you just take my underwear?"""

"I heard you like bad boys she replied: Yeah Well, i'm not trying to impress you or anything But When Disney channel asked me to go their website with parents permission, I didn't ask my parents."

"Siri, assemble a list of people who are dead to me."

"'Do what you want!' she cried lying back on the bed. 'I love a man who takes control.' 'OK' he said and put her CDs into alphabetical order."