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Joke of the Day

"A dick has the saddest life He is put in a dark room, banged againts the walls until it throws up and is unconcious"

"Why did Mario always bring Toad to parties? Toad was a fungi."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I wouldn't pay 40 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes -WHAM!- ""FUCK!"" A bad skydiver goes ""FUCK!"" -WHAM!-"

"Just gave this idiot a thumbs up for cutting me off, and I think I might not understand road rage."

"Your momma is so fat... But I still fucked her."

"Her: Is breakfast almost ready? Me: Yeah, I just have to drain the sausage. Her: Can't we please wait till after breakfast for that?"

"""shake what ya momma gave ya!"" *starts shaking low self-esteem*"

"I will never be okay with how Michael is spelled."

"Damn girl, are you misplaced silverware? Because why aren't you in the kitchen?"