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Joke of the Day

"My drug dealer got me shoes for Christmas I dont know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping ever since"

"Hey, do you guys remember Sex Ed from High School? He's in jail now."

"Me: We should go to the gym more often. Him: I hate it there. It's like a meat market. And I'm the expired meat."

"'Mum there's a man at the door collecting for the Old Folk's Home. Shall I give him Grandma ?'"

"You can tell a lot about a woman from her shoes If they're behind her ears, she likes you"

"What to do when a blonde throws a grenade at you... What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back."

"""Do you have a problem with drugs?"" ""Nah, I don't have a problem with drugs. I like all of them."""

"What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef? **FILET MIGNON!**"

"Why did the drill instructor squirt condiments on his trainees in the morning? That's how he mustard the troops."

"TIL Australians don't have sex They just mate"