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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the mercury mine? Hg wells"

"My wife and I walked past a fancy restaurant She said ""Ohh , something smells nice"" So I decided to treat her - I let her walk past it a second time."

"A Bill Dawes one-liner ""Sex with two guys and a girl isn't called a threesome it's gay sex with a witness"""

"WAITER: Would you like the usual, Mr Smith? MR SMITH: *all smugly* Do birds fly? *Penguin at the next table slams down his menu*"

"What do 9 out of 10 people always agree on? Gang rape What do those 9 disagree about? The order"

"Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet? The one with the biggest head."

"Christmas song for people with synesthesia: do you see what I heeeaarrr"

"Haha we can see inside your cage You like it when we poke you with that stick right?"

"I love you more... - Darling, I feel that you love football more than me. - Honey, but I love you more than hockey."

"I don't understand all the Lady Gaga hate... she seems like such a nice guy."