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Joke of the Day

"I got kicked out of the army yesterday. They called it a dishonorable discharge.... ....i call it jizzing over the generals face whilst he was asleep."

"What kind of dish does LeBron like? anything with curry in it."

"What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar? a salad-manager"

"What kind of currency do they use in space? http://i.imgur.com/vfZp1nP.jpg"

"Why is it hard for men to understand women? Because you have to study abroad to understand them."

"""Bob's coming over"" Bob from work or Bob who thinks he's a cop? *knock on door* OPEN UP, POLICE *flushing drugs down toilet* ""Bob from work"""

"This hotel I'm staying at tomorrow lists ""elevators"" as one of its amenities. I never thought I'd fly this close to the sun."

"Kinda bummed that my pet goldfish died today of a bladder infection. Although to be fair, I probably should have realized something was up when the bowl kept overflowing."

"What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite beer? Yeungling. He can kill off a 12-pack by himself."

"What does Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt Sr. have in common? Both their last greatest hits was the wall."