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Joke of the Day
"TIL chimneys can be used as conjunctions They may introduce a clause"
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"Don't get cute with the live version of your song. We like the one on the album."
"If that baby didn't want to be aborted it should have pulled itself out by its bootstraps like a real American"
"A B-grade nursing student asked the Professor of Urology for his opinion of her ""Urinate"""
"What do you call an aborted Czechoslovakian? A cancelled Chzeck."
"[Olympic Swimming] CANADIAN ANNOUNCER: I feel bad for the water look how hard they're kicking it."
"What do you call a dirty puddle on a slab of cold concrete in dim, gloomy light? A sunny day in Seattle."
"What do we want? A cure for short-term memory loss! When do we want it? When do we want what?"
"Why did the terrorist's post make it to the front page of reddit? Because it blew up."
"GF: ...I'm pregnant ME: *holding a 10-piece chicken nuggets box that actually has 11 nuggets* I've also got some pretty big news"