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Joke of the Day

"Bernie Sanders only has one night stands It's totally not his choice, but women tend not to call back once they still Feel The Bern the next morning."

"How do you stop a Mexican tank? Shoot the guy who's pushing it."

"5/6 doctors agree... Russian roulette is completely safe!"

"What is blonde and brown blonde and brown blonde and brown? Answer. Madonna doing cartwheels."

"When the circus came to town they ran a competition to find the best contortionist.. ..so I entered myself and won"

"It's all fun and games It's was all fun and games until Trump got elected. Now it's a riot!"

"What do you do about a bird that shits in your car? Never ask her out again."

"I tried to grab some fog on the way to work But I mist."

"HER: I love sweater weather ME: *holding up an umbrella to protect us from falling sweaters* It's that time of year again already?!"

"True false tests Why did the school principal forbid the use of true/false tests? It was part of the school's anti Boolean campaign."