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Joke of the Day

"I knew a guy who bowled a three hundred and one How do you bowl a 301? Do you know anyone who has bowled a 300 and lost?"

"What does an Ethiopian eat for breakfast? sand."

"What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger; the other is a fish."

"Why do electricians wear pants? Because they hate shorts."

"*Attempts to use 'I have a boyfriend' meme* Meme: I have a boyfriend."

"I quietly left my job as a set designer... I didn't want to make a scene."

"What was the title of the soundtrack to 'The Inconvenient Truth'? Al Gore Rhythms"

"Just got off 30 min phone call w a friend who has twin 2 yr olds, & even tho i havent had sex in a week I'm taking a morning after pill NOW."

"I paid My 11 old $10 to do the dishes, so on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson."

"Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if you name was ""MMMMMMMMMUUUUUUAAAAAAHHHHHHH."""