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Joke of the Day
"What's the worlds most forceful fig? The Fig Newton."
Next Joke
"I keep burning food with my Presidential Debate microwave... I set it for 2 minutes but it never stops on time."
"You know, my dream for gaming is where in one game you'll shoot someone and then during a game of say Fifa you'll see their son crying"
"He was very careful during bondage sessions. He always used a safe word that contained upper and lower case letters and at least one number."
"Scissors [to Rock]: So you beat me & I beat Paper but how does Paper beat you? [cut to Paper meeting a hitman] Make it look like an accident"
"*touches a turtel* *dies* *touches a plant* *dies* wow mario are u allergic to evreything or wat"
"IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got."
"Whats the difference between reddit and hell? Hell *fires* bad people"
"When is a product with 70% less salt a bad thing? When you're buying salt."
"The crack of dawn is probably just as good as the crack you get at midnight."