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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between reddit and hell? Hell *fires* bad people"

"I don't know the full history of US and Canada but somehow we've got joint custody of geese"

"Mom, Am I adopted? Son: Mom, Am I adopted? Mom: Nuh, you think we would have chosen you?"

"Trumps plan for the wall works. Look at China. They built a fucking wall and you don't see any Mexicans there. Edit: spelling"

"How come Mr. and Mrs. Claus don't have any kids? Because Santa only cums once a year and its down the chimney!"

"How did Jared Fogel lose 60 pounds? He broke up with his girlfriend."

"What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book."

"Mixologists, bartenders, how to make a smoky manhattan? You fly a plane into the WTC"

"i want to make my racing snail like turbo snail"

"If I were British these tweets would be worth 1.61 times as much."