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Joke of the Day

"Literature for the blind What did the blind man say when he picked up a cheese grater? This is the most violent story I've ever read!"

"Condoms are like rules... ...they're made to be be broken."

"Ask me if I'm a truck. No."

"What can you never get from a gay person? a straight answer. Accepting alternate answers in the comments"

"I'd read books on my iPad but it has movies and those work better with my stupid."

"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might accidentally clean them?"

"[waiting for elevator] Coworker: Hey, how's it go- Me: I'll take the stairs."

"Felix went to the moon, took 5 photos. She went to the bathroom, took 37 photos."

"You'd think that the guy in charge of putting pepperoni on frozen pizzas would've been up for a performance review by now."

"I've got the eye of a tiger and a lifetime ban from the zoo"