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Joke of the Day

"Me: Which cup do you want? 2-year-old: That one! Me: Let's pick a different one. 2-year-old: No! *drinks milk from a shot glass*"

"What do you call a vegetarian fart? Kale force wind!"

"Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because his class was so bright!"

"What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called? Hindsight is 2020"

"What's the capital of Greece? About 10."

"Why couldn't the astronaut book a room on the moon? Because it was full."

"[Water cooler] -Looks like you had a wild weekend! How'd you get the scratches? *flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah."

"Confucius say If you poop on a leave, you will have shitty thyme"

"Give a man a baby, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to baby, and i think this saying only works for fish actually."

"What do you call an asian who hates black people? A member of the Kru Krux Kran"