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Joke of the Day

"I hear voices in my head But I ignore them and carry on killing. (Sean Lock)"

"There are almost no problems that cannot be solved by adding puppies into the equation... except for world hunger...which come to think of it, they can also solve."

"Why did the fire fighter call off work to spend time with his friend? Because...bros before hose!"

"I tried exercise but I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous."

"Why couldn't the boarder throw out his collection of potted ferns? They were his best fronds."

"A Man has a strange disorder. Whenever he gets worked up, he sweats coffee. He really can pore the coffee."

"What happened to the blind surgeon? He got the sack."

"(x-post from /r/dadjokes) Did you hear about the new ultra-expensive cologne that's for sale? It's called ElonMuskTM"

"My friend has mexican car insurance. It's called get out and run."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Basket ! Basket who ? Basket home it's nearly dark!"