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Joke of the Day

"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Roll them up into a tire and call it a Goodyear!"

"[2 paintings talking] ""hey man, guess what im doing this weekend?"" please dont say it ""JUST HANGING!"" i wanna move to a different gallery"

"Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas? They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal."

"How do you find an obese woman's vagina in the dark? Go through the folds of fat until you smell shit, then go back one."

"Did I ever tell you the story about Lola? I wont do it with family around."

"Why did the mean and mode laugh together? Because they had a co-median between them."

"H: Gross! Stop peeing in the shower! Me: Why? Everybody pees in the shower. H: Yeah but you're not in it right now, I am."

"A smart woman knows when to give up and walk away A southern woman has a shotgun and a shovel named give up and walk away"

"I went to a zoo the other day and all they had was a terrier. It was a shih tzu."

"What is the farmers favorite way to greet someone? ""Hay!"""