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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the fisherman say to the card magician? A: Pick a cod, any cod!"

"When I get alzheimer's I'm going to watch The Sixth Sense like every day."

"[son hands me a picture he painted a school] That's great. Let's just put that in the 'maybe has epilepsy' pile."

"16 and Pregnant? How come I didn't get my own show when I was 16? ""16 and smart enough to use a rubber."""

"I like my women like my coffee... In a burlap sack, on the back of a donkey."

"[CIA] -We need you to kill the leader of Russia. ""I'll be Putin a bullet in his head. Carl Marx my words!"" -Alright! Who invited PunMan?!"

"Red bull gives you crippling heart palpitations just doesn't have the same ring to it."

"Why was Mohamed Ali born a fighter? In the womb, he used to fight bald clowns. (Self made joke)"

"Trump will do the work of two men when elected... Key & Peel. Thanks Ronnie Corbett may you rest in piece."

"On a pirate's birthday, I asked him how old he was His response: ""Aye matey"""