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Joke of the Day

"No, please continue to talk loudly on the phone, smoke & spit next to my table. No problem! I'm just going to follow you home and kill you."

"Don't tell me I can hear the ocean if I put a shell up to my ear. If he has something to say to me SAY IT TO MY FACE U PIECE OF SHIT WATER"

"How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date? Bring her flours"

"Wanna hear a joke about Reddit? This thread has been locked by the moderators due to excessive off-topic posting. [M]"

"When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing."

"7 dwarves were in a room and they started feeling sleepy. So he left."

"I bought my wife a new dress A really slinky number But it only works when shes going down stairs"

"One night stands in hotel rooms just don't do it for me anymore. That's why I always ask for a bed with two night stands."

"How do you make a faggot have sex with a woman? Shit in her cunt."

"Before arbys gets sucked into the sun with the rest of the earth and everything you've ever known or loved, please come eat some of our crap"