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Joke of the Day

"The President of the United States, the Prime Minister of England, and the King of Thailand walk into a bar in Bangkok and the bartender says ""May I get you and your guests drinks, Your Majesty?"""

"good dancer:D :D hahah Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet."

"Squiggly line squiggly line space Squiggly line squiggly line space Squiggly line squiggly line space ~me reading Arabic DM"

"How many optometrists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One... or two? One... or two?"

"I just saw a woman with a tremendous amount of make up and I was really tempted to use my finger and write ""wash me"" on her face"

"The captcha required for submitting isn't working. Since I post every few days, my human can do them for me. ERROR: CAPTCHA DETECTED."

"[taking pregnant wife to hospital ER] Me: Help! My wife's having contradictions! Dr: Don't you mean contractions? Wife: Never say never"

"As an American of Chinese decent, I offered my services to help Trump to build his wall. He replied that he didn't think it would be a good idea for me to build the barrier in my own internment camp."

"Knock Knock Joke (created by a 4yo) Knock knock - Who's there? Apple - Apple who? *pause* APPLE NOTHING! APPLES DON'T SAY ANYTHING! YOU'RE SO WEIRD, DADDY!"

"You can't afford a bar of soap, but Beer,, Cigarettes,, & $700 worth of tattoos is not a problem?.. This is why sometimes I have a hard time feeling bad for most people"