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Joke of the Day

"Grandma walks into a butcher's shop Grandma: ""Hi, I'd like to buy one baloney."" Butcher: ""Pre-sliced or in one piece?"" Grandma lifts her skirt and says: ""Does this look like a CD player to you?"""

Next Joke
 
"Leather armor is best for sneaking Because it's literally made of hide."
"My wife and I just celebrated our 5th anniversary. A traditional gift would be something wood. So I gave her some wood. ALL NIGHT LONG."
"Boobs are proof that guys can pay attention to two things at once"
"Why do bakers go into business? Because they knead the dough"
"If you are looking for a way to describe olive oil, how about ""yellow and you can't drink it"""
"What is a ghost favorite fruit ? Boonanaa !"
"Did you hear about the guy who tried to have sex with an acorn? He was fucking nuts."
"911 Worker > 911,What's your emergency? Man > My wife is going to give birth! Worker > Is this her first born? Man > No,it's her husband *Ba Dum Tss*"
"Finally goes to open-mic night. gets on stage. bombs so badly gets arrested for terrorism. #BucketListFails"