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Joke of the Day

"Me: Congrats! I heard you got married again Her: Sorry I didn't invite you. It was a small ceremony Me: Its ok. I'll go to your next one"

"A good laugh, a great orgasm, and a long sleep are the best cures for most woes... For everything else there's booze."

"My tampon just leaked during my bath and now it looks like I made a tub full of passion fruit tea."

"Former District attorney lost job after scandal, now a male sex worker. Most of his jobs are pro-boner"

"Why are the silent majority actually Hillary supporters? Because they're dead."

"What is the most popular brand of Indian vodka? Patel One."

"I used to own a car that never seemed to run properly. It was a brokeswagen."

"welcome to fireman school. raise ur hand if you thought this was firefighter school *all hands raise* wrong *lights self on fire* FIREMAN"

"Have you heard of Bill Cosby's new T.V. show? It's called, ""Women say the Dardest things."" He denies rape charges for thirty minutes."

"You know what a cubicle basically says? It says 'We don't think you're smart enough for an office,but we don't want you to look at anybody.'"