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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Jew and Santa Claus? Santa Claus goes *down* the chimney."

"How many gears does a French battle tank have? Five. Four in reverse, and one in case the enemy is attacking from the rear."

"BREAKING NEWS: NASA announces Mars Rover discovered new feline-like life form on the Red Planet Unfortunately, it ran over the newly discovered creature. Yes, it seems Curiosity killed the cat."

"I found an old unframed oil painting in my loft yesterday of a beautiful naked lady so i mounted it"

"I call my penis... ""the cartridge"" because women love to blow it"

"Therapist: When you look in the mirror, what do you see?Me: I see myself you friggin idiot. Let me see your degree"

"What's common between Hillary and Bill Clinton? A jew blowing their presidency"

"Text him again. He probably just forgot that he's in love with you."

"I don't get this joke. Can someone explain it to me? My sister's fiance is so short that he has trouble playing computer games. The only way he can reach the keyboard is if he lies flat on the ground."

"Two Lesbian Vampires have just had sex.... and one says to the other: ""Same time next month?"""