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Joke of the Day

"what do pirates have with their fish tart arrrrrrrr sauce"

Next Joke
 
"""I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!"" Brain: LOL Empty bottles: LOL Wine shop owner: LOL New bottle: LOL Bottle opener: LOL Liver: LOL Me: LOL"
"My dogs keep looking at me as if I have the power to fix the snow outside but I'm too goddamned lazy to do it"
"Sometimes when I'm feeling lonely, I write a letter to a prison inmate to tell them how much better my life is than theirs."
"The Pizza Delivery Guy said ""Thank you"" but his face said: ""Porn really, really lied to me about what this job was like."""
"When you're feeling down, just remember... you've accomplished more than Steve Jobs this year."
"She'll be coming around the Mountain when she comes. - Mountain bragging."
"Sex is like CPR. Two inches at 100 beats per minute."
"How do you know your friends are pleased with your Facebook post? They like it!"
"A yoga teacher was murdered... ...they're saying it was premeditated."