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Joke of the Day

"Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The guy that can carry a dozen doughnuts and 2 cups of coffee."

"There's no dumb questio ""Why'd my parents get divorced?"" See. His parents most likely split up because he's an interrupting little shit"

"All of the people complaining about Harriet Tubman being on the new $20 bill... Most likely don't see too many $20 bills."

"I don't trust Bonsai trees. They are a little shady."

"Why does Santa have such a beautiful garden? He is always Hoe-hoe-hoeing."

"A Man Loses His Eye in a Fight The first thing he says to his eye doctor is: ""Eye didn't see it coming."""

"My wife gave me her Christmas list. I said, ""isn't my undying love & affection enough?"" We laughed and laughed. Now I'm at the purse store"

"How can you tell if a dictionary has been working out? You can see the definition."

"My dog chewed up my laptop... I guess he wanted a byte to eat! ^imagine ^this ^in ^zoidberg's ^voice"

"What do you call a carrot that repeats everything you say? WOAH! BACK UP, BACK UP. You've seen a TALKING CARROT?"