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Joke of the Day

"There's no dumb questio ""Why'd my parents get divorced?"" See. His parents most likely split up because he's an interrupting little shit"

"Dogs are some of the coolest people I've ever met."

"What's it like being frozen to absolute zero? It's 0K."

"Man! It's raining cats and dogs out there! *MEEEW* SPLAT! *AARFF* SPLAT! Did I close my sunroof? SON OF BITCH!"

"Sex is like pizza. My wife won't let me have it until I lose weight."

"Wife and I taking a shower Wife: I want you to do bad things to me. Me: <pours shampoo in her eyes>"

"In hindsight, using the word ""harder"" as the safe word, was not the best idea."

"Why did Hitler called it ethnic cleansing? He showered them."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face before."

"What do a lonely astronaut and your thumbs have in common? They both hang out at the Space Bar."