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Joke of the Day

"My love is like a candle... Because if you forget about me I will burn your fucking house to the ground."

"Some delivery guy knocked on my door today and said, ""I have a parcel for your next door neighbour."" I replied, ""You've got the wrong house then, haven't you?"""

"the reason i dont wear specific colors on 9/11 when someone asks me why im not wearing red on 9/11 i tell them ""because im not celebrating a muslim holiday"""

"i told this girl at the bar that im kinda popular on twitter and she sighed for 17 minutes straight the bartender timed it"

"What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels. This joke is great for determining someones sense of humor."

"Call Me crazy, but the ideal number of times a Pope should have once been a member of the Nazi Youth is zero."

"In honor of the 30 year anniversary of the Challenger explosion. What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts"

"Sometimes I think to myself... and then other times I don't"

"What did Stephen Hawking Say when his computer crashed? Nothing"

"Parallel lines have got so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet."