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Joke of the Day

"How can Penn State fix their problem Rebrand themselves as the Catholic church."

"I regret buying that straight jacket. Thought it would look good on me but I just can't pull it off."

"How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb? Four - three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb."

"What do you do if you come across a lion in the jungle? Wipe it off and say you're sorry."

"So a proctologist is examining a patient. He pulls an anal thermometer out of his coat to make some notes. Looks at it and says ""Damnit some asshole has my pen!"""

"Where does the three legged horse live? The unstable"

"What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a mercedes? I don't have a mercedes in my garage!"

"I like to make things awkward at family gatherings by walking up behind each person and whispering 'I know what you did last Christmas'"

"What exactly had the ""NOW That's What I Call Music!"" guy been listening to before? Sound FX CDs? Whale noises?"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year-old child? Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!"