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Joke of the Day

"If it's not Valentine's Day and you see a man in flower shop, you can probably start the conversation with ""What did you do?""."

"What's it called when two retarded lesbians have sex? Sthaftey scthissors!"

"What's a Call of Duty player's favorite social media website? Fazebook"

"What insect would Richard Simmons be? Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?"

"Bill Clinton has been battling the same illness for 17 years. Pneumonica."

"What's the difference between a strawberry and a pencil? One's a fruit, you idiot."

"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to assure the public that everything possible is being done while the other screws it into a water faucet."

"Whats the best part about sex with a pregnant woman? You get a blowjob from the fetus."

"Having trouble with your iPhone saying ""No Service""? Just put your shirt and shoes back on."

"It's impossible to say ""mesh"" without sounding like Sean Connery... Also you just tried it."