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Joke of the Day

"What is 667? The neighbor of the beast."

"[HR office] Do you know why we called you in today? To give me a pay rise? No. Because I googled 'How to burn down office' 600 times? Yes."

"Apparently, ""My Dick"" is the wrong answer to ""What do you look for in a girl?"""

"A group of programmers painstakingly made a small underground passage, that somehow got smaller if it was used too often. They called it the Carpal Tunnel"

"A monster goes to a petrol station and says: Fill me up The man at the petrol station replies: You have to have a car for me to do that!. The monster replies: But I had a car for lunch!"

"My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well actually he said ""less McDonald's"" but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant"

"Why did the phone keep walking into the wall? It lost its contacts."

"""I"" before ""E"" but only at participating locations"

"The *real* reason Hitler lost the war. He forgot to put speed limits on his highways so the enemy vehicles could drive as fast as they wanted to."

"My friend has a PHD. Even though he only has a Public Highschool Diploma, he has been living a pretty happy life. Side note: My father loves to make this joke, so I had to share."