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Joke of the Day

"i just found that children's tylenol is made for children, not out of children, and i feel relieved. but that could just be the tylenol..."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a buck ninety-nine, but deer nuts are always under a buck."

"What do you call a kid with two gay black dads? An orphan."

"Why did Jim die from eating at an Italian restaurant? Because he asked for 'ebola spaghetti'"

"Genetic link to male ageing and stress found in the XX sex chromosome. Hopefully it translates well enough into english."

"My dad is so cheap. He scolded me for running home behind the bus once, and saving the *fare. He said I should have run behind a taxi, and saved a lot more."

"Spending half of the movie wondering where the fuck did I see this actor before..."

"What do you call a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle with bad hair? Donny Trump"

"I'm gonna stay a virgin my entire life I wanna set a good example for my kids!"

"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A Seatbelt!"