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Joke of the Day

"i just found that children's tylenol is made for children, not out of children, and i feel relieved. but that could just be the tylenol..."

"There are 10 types of people in this world Those that know binary ... And the rest have girlfriends"

"What is it with people who text and drive? I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them."

"A pedophile, a rapist, and a priest walks into a bar He orders a drink."

"Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra... The police are on the lookout for two hardened criminals..."

"What's the difference between an old Greyhound terminal and a lobster with really big boobs? One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustation! ::buh dum bum::"

"When someone says ""The last thing I'd want to do is hurt you"", I'm wondering why they have a list of things to do that includes hurting me."

"Meatloaf will do anything for love, but he won't lose weight."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, unless they're small enough to fit a third in there."

"I have walrus-like reflexes! Basically I roll around my apartment and slap my belly when I want food"