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Joke of the Day

"It isn't a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I'm fine by the way."

"Common scene Q: Why are condoms transparent? A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!"

"If one horse is in the corral, running around the perimeter of the fence,and another horse is running free in a field, which one is singing, ""Don't Fence Me In""? Neither. Horses can't sing."

"My girlfriend claims my puns don't make any sense. She says they're un-BEAR-able."

"LPT: How to tie an extremely difficult knot Just put it in your pocket. Works like a charm with my headphones every time."

"Taking a nap now. If you're tempted to wake me, please remember Jurassic Park. Just because we can do it, doesn't always mean we should."

"What would one call a movie about meth addictions? Need for speed."

"Congrats on being one of the ""cool kids"" in Highschool. Too bad about the rest of your life though."

"Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was debrie everywhere!"

"A police man pulls over a car in the middle of the night ""Sir, do you realise how badly your car was swerving between lanes?"" ""I've had 8 drinks, officer."" ""That's no excuse to let your wife drive..."""