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Joke of the Day
"Have you ever seen a blind person reading braille in public? Neither have they"
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"i drive the golf carts in gta most because i was never allowed to in real life. i also stab chairs because im not allowed to do that either"
"A grasshopper walks into a bar... A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says ""We have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper says, ""You have a drink named Steve?"""
"Came back from the doctor and told my wife that I was perfectly healthy and I could've sworn she mouthed the word ""crap""."
"Three cows are standing in a field. Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease? Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter Cow 3: Holy shit a talking cow!"
"*mugger walks up* GIMME EVERYTHING YOU GOT! *mugger slowly walks away with $2.16 and a lifetime of anxiety & existential misunderstanding*"
"Curiosity killed the cat... NASA sincerely apologizes..."
"Doctor: You have bronchitis Me: OMG I've always wanted a dinosaur!What do I feed it?"
"Cam Newton has been fitted with a GoPro strapped to his leg for the Super Bowl, sponsored by a canned meat company. It's called the Spam Cam Newton Gam Cam"
"I asked my mate what he wanted for dinner He said he fancies a Chinese. I said I didn't ask you about your love life I asked what you wanted to eat."