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Joke of the Day

"Pro-lifers Haven't they realised that you have to die to get to Heaven?"

"How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist!"

"What's the difference between refrigerators and gay people? Refrigerators don't fart when the meat gets pulled out"

"I'm thinking of starting a business will use free child labor in exchange for temporary housing. Although I don't know if I can compete with the Girl Scouts..."

"My neighbor came over and knocked on my door at 3 a.m. the other night. Three in the morning, can you believe it?! He was lucky I was still up playing my drums."

"There was a pretty girl in the produce section so to impress her I bought a mango"

"Man it's nuts today, I've killed over a dozen zombies and I have one question: Why were they all holding bags of candy?"

"A baby seal walks into a club..."

"Opinions are like herpes outbreaks. Nobody wants them."

"If I'm in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet"