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Joke of the Day

"I went to the doctor today. He told me I was fat. I said I wanted a second opinion. He says, Okay, you're ugly."

"Whats the similarity between a reddit user and a vulture? Both are dead inside."

"My friends and I are all dressing as different Robin Williams characters at a Comic Con this weekend... We're the Suicide Squad!"

"Yo momma's so stupid when she tried to commit suicide, she killed her twin."

"Cooking is actually really easy for anyone to do It's just that most people don't have thyme."

"Knock Knock ""Who's there?"" ""Kelly Clarkson boo"" ""Kelly Clarkson boo who?"" ""Stop crying, Kelly Clarkson."""

"If Emblem were a bad employee... Would you Fire Emblem?"

"What's the difference between Hillary's staff and Bill's staff? Bill's staff waited until after the election to suck."

"What's Irish and stays out on your deck? Paddy O'furniture"

"Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None that's a hardware problem."