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Joke of the Day

"When you watch the movie Titanic, it's just the Anic. Because they edit the tits out."

"Woman sends emotional text that's 5 paragraphs long. Man responds with ""k."" Woman spontaneously combusts."

"What's the difference between Christmas and the Great Marianas Turkey Shoot? At Christmas, there's a nip in the air."

"""First things first I'm the illest. Drop this & let the whole world feel it, and I'm still in the Murda Bizness I could hold you down like I'm givin' lessons in killin' ""-Ebola"

"What do you call an abortion in Prague? A cancelled Czech"

"Experts are close to classifying internet addiction as a mental illness. They just need to check one more thing. And Facebook. And Twitter."

"Did you guys hear about the award winning farmer? Apparently he was outstanding in his field. [modified repost]"

"What's the difference between officer Darren Wilson and Michael Brown? Officer Wilson can dodge a bullet"

"Hitler Maybe Hitler was just a fitness trainer and he was helping all the Jews burn a few calories"

"I saw this cute homeless girl on the street.. ..so I asked her if I could take her home. She smiled and said ""sure"", boy the look on her face when I walked off with her cardboard box..."