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Joke of the Day

"A Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first? A Kid replied: The legs... Because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming ""OH GOD! I'M COMING!! XD"

"A bunch of bats are hanging on a tree branch... BAT A: Hey look at Harry he's hanging the other way up!! (like a bird) BAT B: He's been having these fainting spells all week."

"Why do we have oceans? Because based god and acid god had a baby."

"What do onions and people have in common? I weep uncontrollably when I cut them."

"I'm doing market research for a telescope manufacturer, I run the focus group."

"Wikileaks has been experiencing financial difficulties recently. Would it help if they began running... classified ads?"

"Why did the libertarian cross the road? None of your goddamn business. Am I being detained?"

"Thanks but I don't need help in your store or any other store. I've been in a ton of stores. I know how they work."

"Hey guys. Stop touching your wife's pregnant belly in pictures. We get it, you came in her."

"What is today's special at Google's employee cafeteria? Alphabet Soup."