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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a blind deer? No eyed deer. What do you call a dead, blind deer? Still no eyed deer."

"[Sahara desert] Me: *shares canteen* Companion: *holds it to his mouth but nothing comes out* Me: it's ketchup, you have to wait a bit."

"What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist."

"A man walks into a bar... ...ouch"

"What form of hand-to-hand combat did the Nazis use? Jew Jitsu"

"My wife was complaining about how the washing machine was making a lot of noise lately. I told her to put a sock in it."

"A big shout out to my cat for hissing at an empty closet and keeping me in the bathtub holding a crucifix."

"I accidentally ordered a grande at Dunkin Donuts so I had to just keep speaking spanish so they wouldn't think I was a snob."

"I've just bought a transparent megaphone. Now everyone can hear me loud and clear."

"Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia? They were afraid of Stalin."