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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the solider that survived a mustard gas attack and a pepper spray attack? He's now a seasoned veteran."

"I just heard the first song made by artificial intelligence You could say it was a real Siri-nade"

"school sucks 2/10 stars would not recommend"

"ME: I cant make it in today BOSS: again? why M: my car died B: that's the same excuse you used yesterday M: yeah but today's the funeral"

"Dad- I want you to have everything in this world that your heart desires. *Can I have oreos?* [NO]"

"Drugs and alcohol aren't the answer. Unless the question is why did you shit on the sidewalk last night?"

"Apparently, Engineers talk how Doctors write"

"Marathon runner: I think we're lost. Why does that sign say Grand Canyon? Are you sure this is the right way? Lemming: Just trust me, ok?"

"If by fitness you mean I eat healthy & exercise regularly, then yes, I am not fit."

"Hope nobody has a video of me trying to get the fourth corner of a fitted sheet over the mattress."