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Joke of the Day

"*narrows my eyes at you suspiciously* *keeps narrowing them* *closes them entirely* [naps]"

"Preacher: CAN I GET AN AMEN?!? Me: [from back row] MAY you get an amen"

"I'm a responsible adult Last night I had a salad for dinner. It was a fruit salad and had grapes. Lots of grapes. It was all grapes. It was wine"

"Rembrandt was unsurpassed in his ability to depict light and shadow in his works, until the camera came out. then he got insanely surpassed"

"""Roses are grey, violets are grey, cars are grey, red is grey, all this shit is just grey""-guy failing a color blind test."

"You wanna read a joke? My internet points"

"Apparently, Isaac Asimov wrote a book about jokes and puns called Treasury of Humor I laughed my Asimov when I was reading it"

"the real people to blame for 911 I heard it was two irish carpenter s paddy and mick fitting doors on the 60th floor paddy told mick to get a plain n take some of the top. Mick misinterpreted"

"Teacher: I wish you'd pay a little attention, David. David: I'm paying as little as I can, teacher."

"I just don't get the immigration issue... If they can't get Visas, then they should just apply for Mastercards."