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Joke of the Day

"My angry wife left me after she said "".. eat shit and die! "" And all I said was: ""So dinner is ready?""."

"My new hobby is sitting outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say ""You can see me?"""

"What kind of drugs do ducks use? Quack."

"*reaches for the stars* Stars: I have a boyfriend"

"My two best friends were born on 4/20... They have a joint birthday party"

"What did the wife say to the husband? Beats me \_()_/ "

"Best part of Twenty Sever year olds. Theres twenty of them."

"*tightens straps on electric chair* Any last words? -I think male oysters should be called boysters Omg will someone throw the damn switch"

"I hope the people that monitor my sleep study tonight like watching a man scratch his taint."

"What would happen if you were to cross two snowmen with three vampires? You would get severe frostbite."