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Joke of the Day

"My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at his face."

"Hellen Keller walks into a bar... She now has a bruise on her forehead..."

"Instead of the death penalty they should make prisoners nice and comfortable and then tell them that the remote control is across the room."

"I once caught my ex-girlfriend putting acorns into her vagina... She was fucking nuts."

"I'd say 20% of my day is spent trying to convince the dog we're not about to be murdered by the UPS guy, mailman, squirrels, ice dispenser.."

"A Christian, a Muslim and a Jew walk into a bar... What a fine example of an integrated community. ^(Credit: Bernard Righton/John Thomson)"

"What do you call a Unicorn with his horn cut off? a Eunuch-horn! :D"

"One of these days, I'm going to go fishing for complements. I hope I catch some peanut butter and jelly."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Jock Barbie ...looks like Dennis Rodman"

"How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales."