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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone without arms or legs Matt"

"Girlfriend and I broke up Now I have no friends. Sadly. A true dark joke."

"ME: I know it's probably the beer talking, but you look beautiful tonight! BEER: Hey buddy, don't be putting words in my mouth now."

"I made a graph of my past girlfriends. It has an ex axis and a why axis."

"Was it bad? To yell at my gf if I should dig up hitler to show her how to use an oven"

"Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas."

"What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She's going to be eating me!"

"So, 50 Cent is bankrupt... He only has 50 Cent to his name."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Is a terrible thing to say to someone with a muscle eating disease."

"Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a tiger wood."