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Joke of the Day
"What do you call someone without arms or legs Matt"
Next Joke
"I got caught taking a pee in the Municipal swimming pool. The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in."
"how many hipsters does it take to put in a lightbulb? its a realy obscure number, you've probably never heard of it"
"What did fish on the kitchen bench say to the other fish? Long time no sea."
"If you add 'ish' on the end of the time, you're not really late."
"Parenting: 1st kid: Document their every move 2nd kid: forget to pick them up 99% of the time"
"A Man Comes into a Bar So a man comes into a bar... or wait no a horse. a man comes into a horse"
"When I think of a good tweet in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it's too late."
"She said she wanted to bump uglies. So, naturally, I got all showered & freshened up and then I rammed my Ford Pinto into her Honda Element."
"I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers... Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed."