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Joke of the Day

"[police lineup] VICTIM: That's him! The dopey fat guy in the middle. COP: We haven't started yet. That's your own reflection in the glass."

"If someone tweets in the bathroom they are live streaming."

"What do you call 100 black people on a plane to Africa? A good start."

"Spell icup Why the FUCK are you watching me urinate?! FUCK YOU!!!!!"

"*releases frozen turkey back into the ocean"

"*wakes up at the crack of Dawn* *instantly regrets drunk dialing Dawn last night*"

"Do you have space... for my peepee in your butt?"

"What do you call a shape that's always worried? A paranoid. (Wooo maths jokes)"

"The number one cause of teenage pregnancy is sluts."

"What does Trumps Hair and a Thong have in common..? They both barely cover the asshole."