22851

Joke of the Day

"what's that word for when you're peeling off a sticker & it comes off in 1 perfect strip & it's better than love or joy or any human emotion"

"If you take longer than 10 seconds at the hand dryer, I will wipe my hands on the back of your shirt."

"My boss told me ""Dress for the job you want, not the job you have"" Am now sat in a disciplinary meeting wearing my Batman costume."

"4 out of 5 experts agree that when you put any 5 experts together, 4 out of 5 of them will agree."

"Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat."

"what do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and an agnostic? Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog"

"I have a time machine for sale. If interested, call me two weeks ago."

"Joke What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip."

"I bet when slutty girls get cremated instead of ashes the family just gets an urn full of glitter."

"Religion or science? Science flies you to the moon, Religion flies you into buildings"