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Joke of the Day

"It's hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars."

"I am so hot my mother calls me sun."

"A wife said to her husband, ""You fuck like you fix things around the house."" ""Expertly?"" he asked. ""No,"" she responded. ""Half done so I have to call the neighbor over to finish the job."""

"A man is suing a hardware for selling him a bucket with holes in it. Personally, I don't think his argument holds water."

"I gave a paraplegic a Rubik's cube... Left him completely stumped."

"The secretary keeps hearing music coming from the printer... I think the paper is jamming."

"I just got a job cleaning air ducts and I don't like it very much, but at least I have a job. Thanks for letting me vent."

"If God didn't want me to scratch my ass he wouldn't have made it taste so good."

"A terrorist attack has blown away 2 local houses one made of straw and the other made of wood. Police think that it's probably a lone wolf."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you."