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Joke of the Day
"Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in the pot? Because one more would be ""two-fahrty"""
Next Joke
"What kinda vegetables like to party? Lettuce turnip da beet!"
"Please stop telling me how you wish you had my curly hair. You don't know the struggle of waking up looking like Mufasa."
"One time I was checking out this really hot girl and she paid me for it because I was a grocery store cashier."
"After a long and distinguished career, my French teacher finally retired. Adios, amigo."
"Music is like candy Just throw out the wrappers."
"""I've changed my mind."" ""Thank God! Does it work better now?"""
"What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? If you hadn't been so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"
"My doctor told me I had stop masturbating. I asked why and she said ""because you're in my office and it's fucking disgusting."" Fair enough."
"[having daughter's new boyfriend (who I think is a caveman) over for dinner] so dave, how is work? *lights candle and watches his reaction*"