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Joke of the Day

"Why did the pirate captain suddenly die? He had an an*yarr*ysm."

"Does the defense have any last words? ""Yes I do your honor... THE FLOOR IS MADE OF LAVA"" [Judge & jury scramble to get on top of tables]"

"What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy"

"Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble."

"Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely."

"What did the hooker say in the shower after a long day at work? That was a huge load off my back"

"This Uber driver is the worst. I can't roll down the windows, he keeps asking questions, the doors won't open, and now his siren is blaring."

"LEGAL JARGON! Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!"

"What's invisible and smells like cough drops? Koala farts"

"It is much easier to hula hoop with an erection."