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Joke of the Day

"NURSE: The other nurses and I bought you this box of chocolates for Valentines Day! DR DOG: You're joking, right?"

"There's a giant exploding ball of fire in sky every day, and we're just supposed to be cool with it? Hell no, I'm not into that at all."

"You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning."

"GAME SHOW IDEA: Man hands wife his phone. If he can let her look at it for 60 secs without looking uncomfortable, he wins a billion dollars."

"What's the Vatican City's favorite snack? popecorn"

"I like my wine like my women 11 years old and locked up in my cellar"

"Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don't like."

"Do you think the husband of the GPS lady listens to her directions?"

"Why was William considered a enemy? Because, His last name was Dafoe"

"Christmas tradition."