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Joke of the Day

"I overheard Oedipus swearing like a sailor... ...so I asked him, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"What's the definition of a will? Come on you guys, it's a dead giveaway!"

"what does pinocchio have for breakfast? oakmeal"

"I would love to know what it's like to be handsome for one day... ... because everyday is just too much."

"Name your kid Basil and see what happens. BEST case scenario he spends hours a day updating Wikipedia."

"What is the hardest part of eating vegetables? Their wheelchairs"

"How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Seriously, how many blondes? Need to know ASAP."

"I decided to start growing a beard. I didn't like it at first but it's starting to grow on me."

"Showier thoughts pt 3 Someone used this water to flush poop and now here I am washing my body with it."

"How is liver like anal sex? If your parents force it on you too much as a child you won't like it as an adult."